Written by Jennifer Gormley, a mother of a Lambda Chi Alpha Member at Penn State University
When my boys were growing up, I had two very clear rules for when they went to college:
No Penn State. No fraternity.
It became almost a running joke in our house—one I repeated so often it began to sound like my favorite childhood book, But No Elephants by Jerry Smath. Only in my case, it was But No Fraternity! My husband and I were adamant. We had fallen into the same pattern of beliefs that thousands—if not millions—of parents have been fed by the media: that fraternities are nothing but drinking and partying, places where bad things happen. We were convinced nothing good could come from Greek Life.
And yet… just like in the book, my boys didn’t listen.
And, just like in the book, it turned out to be the very best thing they didn’t listen to.
Before my sons’ involvement, we were skeptical at best. But those views changed completely after witnessing the positive, lasting impact that Lambda Chi Alpha at Penn State has had on each of our boys.
Most profoundly, our third son—Aiden, who is autistic and the twin of one of the current Members—was welcomed by this Brotherhood with warmth, respect, and genuine inclusion, despite never formally joining the Fraternity. He was embraced not as an outsider, but as one of their own. The kindness and humanity these young men showed him transformed his college experience and, we believe, his life. That is not something we say lightly.
In my work as a Board Certified Behavior Analyst (BCBA) in a Pennsylvania public school district, I support many families of children with developmental and behavioral differences. One family I work with has a young son in first grade with high-support needs due to autism—very much like Aiden when he was first diagnosed. The boy’s father is quiet and reserved, but deeply devoted to his son, bonding with him through shared activities and consistent support.
As he learned that my older sons attend Penn State, he began asking about their experiences, taking particular interest when I mentioned that my oldest had joined Lambda Chi Alpha. When my other son joined as well, he asked about Aiden. I explained that Aiden was doing well academically but still navigating the social world, often preferring the comfort of his dorm room.
Then, during his son’s IEP meeting in May, I shared something personal. I showed him a photo of all three of my boys—Aiden, his twin, and their older brother—dressed up for Lambda Chi’s formal. For the first time, Aiden had been invited to a major social event. He went. He belonged. He was included.
This father, a man of few words, studied the photo and then looked at me. Quietly, he said, “That could be my son one day.”
And I replied, “Yes, it absolutely can be.”
That moment, made possible by the kindness, inclusivity, and brotherhood of the Penn State Lambda Chi Chapter, reached far beyond one night or one boy. It created a ripple effect of hope. It reminded a father of a young autistic child that there are good people in the world—people who look past the stimming, the flapping, the social differences, the alternative ways of communicating—and simply see a person who belongs.
To the Brothers of Lambda Chi Alpha at Penn State: you may never fully realize the extent of your impact. But know this, you’ve not only changed Aiden’s life, you’ve given hope to a family you’ve never met. And for that, I am forever grateful.
So yes, my boys broke my “two rules” in spectacular fashion. And thank goodness they did. Because in doing so, they led me to one of the most unexpected and beautiful chapters of our family’s story.
But here’s the truth: it’s time for the story about fraternities to change. For too long, the public has been told only one side—the side of drinking, parties, and bad decisions. That narrow view has been fueled by headlines that thrive on negativity and drama.
What you don’t see often enough are the stories like ours. Stories of inclusion, compassion, and community. Stories of young men who step up, who welcome those who are different, who create belonging where it didn’t exist before.
At Penn State alone, fraternities raise millions of dollars for THON each year to fight childhood cancer. Lambda Chi Alpha volunteers in soup kitchens, supports local communities, and, in our family’s case, changed the life of a young autistic man who never asked to be included, but was included anyway.
These are the stories that deserve to be told.
These are the stories that show the heart of what brotherhood can truly mean.
So to the media, to parents, and to anyone still holding the same old beliefs we once did: it’s time to look again. It’s time to tell the full story—not just the easy, sensational one. Because the truth is, fraternities are shaping lives for the better. And the world deserves to know it.
Note from Marketing Specialist, Peyton Norris:
For decades, the narrative surrounding fraternities has been written almost by headlines that focus on the worst moments: stories of hazing, parties gone wrong, or recklessness. Those stories certainly exist in our world, and they should not be ignored. But they don’t come close to showcasing the full story. What often gets lost are the countless examples of Brotherhood lived out through mentorship, service, and the kind of inclusion that Jennifer so powerfully described.
At Lambda Chi Alpha, this means more. Where the Brotherhood is built on the promise that every man deserves to belong, and that no one should be left on the outside looking in. Belonging is not a slogan at Lambda Chi; it is a lived expectation, one that our Members carry into their Chapters, their campuses, and most importantly their lives. Stories like Jennifer’s aren’t an exception. They’re reminders of what happens when that promise is lived out fully. As a Fraternity, we have a responsibility to keep telling these stories and amplifying the voices of families who have seen the impact firsthand. When the world only hears the negative, it misses the truth. Fraternities can and do transform lives for the better.
